femmenerd's Journal

12:23pm: First of all...

The month's (non-prolific) fic round-up

+++Good Morning - Rupert Grint/f - NC17 - 661 words.

I think that's the lowest monthly word count since I started writing fanfic.

Life Things:

++I need to learn how to say no to C when she invariably shoves shot glasses full of unidentified and brightly colored liquid at me.

++One of the new boys in my department is writing a paper about straight male Gilmore Girls fans and their shame issues. (I think it might be autobiographical.) C made him drink bright orange booze also. Oh and eyesofmyeyes told him that I write dirty porn about Lauren Graham and Jared Padalecki. And I confessed to reading Weasley!cest. That'll teach him about shame issues! Er.

++I am attempting to implement the "Smallville Strategy" aka "the carrot/reward system" to the mass quantities of reading I have to do (now that I've lost the last two days to alcohol). Unfortunately, my old "read 20 pages, watch half an episode" thing doesn't function because of the whole MYSTERY aspect of Bones - I always end up watching the whole episode. Also, nothing works as well as the Big, Dumb Pretty of SV in terms of palette cleansing in between bouts of Dense Academic Prose.

++The other day I caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window: skinny dark jeans, little grey blazer with Debbie Harry pin, scuffed up black & white Saucony sneakers, excessive black liquid eyeliner, carrying a VHS copy of a Godard film - and I kind of wanted to slap myself upside the head for looking like such a caricature of what one might imagine a Ph.D student in Film Studies looks like. Although actually the scruffy shoes thing goes against type - for some reason Film and Media academics tend to have more fabulous footwear compared to other kinds of scholars. Trufax! This one time I was drinking Heineken with my two favorite film profs in undergrad and I caught them giggling about a potential new hire in the department and the fact that he didn't have snazzy enough shoes. Also, for the record, I've never actually watched ANY French New Wave films before. This is the kind of the thing that would make the Cinephile Boys in my program gasp in horror. Then, as usual, I would say, "Yeah, well you haven't watched Buffy."

( Some Things That Make Me Go 'EEEEEEEEEEEH!' )

Um, some day there may once again be some substance on this journal. In the meantime, does anyone have the Placebo version of "Running Up That Hill" you could upload me? It's so Depeche-modey. I wants. Got it! Best Flist ever!

In conclusion, David Boreanaz's shoulders. I have sour-cream-apple-cranberry-walnut muffins to nosh.

1:27pm: *bites fist*
I have been...not "here." So much so that a random boy at a party last night was how I heard about the existence of this new picture of Rupert in his ice cream van!!! [Yes, I go to grad student parties, get drunk and talk about Rupert Grint, yes.]

( BOY )

Okay, now I go back to nursing my hangover with green tea and Bones on DVD. Because David Boreanaz is proof that I still find men over the age of nineteen attractive. :P

2:22am: "Good Morning" - Rupert Grint/f - Rated NC17
WELL, I suppose this was inevitable. *g*

Title: Good Morning
Author: femmenerd
Pairing: Rupert Grint/f, inspired by [this rumour].
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: FICTION.
Summary: She is no longer impressed with the condition of being famous. He behaves as though he doesn’t know that he is.
Author's Note: Unbetaed, as I don't know that there's anyone who really wants to read this, much less Britpick it. And for the sake of thoroughness: [What Katie Did] by The Libertines.
Word Count: 659.

( She could teach this one some things. )

11:50pm: boys, books, and busyness
I had forgotten that not smoking greatly decreases the probability and intensity of hangovers. So, after tequila shots and Supernatural watching last night, I awoke on my friend's couch this morning relatively unscathed! Then we ate an inordinantly healthy brunch while the sun flooded the cafe and I was most pleased with being alive.

I bought a [comic] today about love/hate relationships with cigarettes. Also, the latest two Buffy S8 books. And HP Book 1 for rereading while at the gym. It's all part of The Plan. I am definitely a creator of idiosyncratic ritual.

+++++I have been thinking today about all of the things that I am fangirling most passionately right now: Jeffrey Foucault's music, Roland Barthes' beautiful (playful, loving) literary criticism, the fictional character Sam Winchester, Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliff's public personas. I think that all of these things together represent an interest in a certain (alternative?) kind of masculinity, one which is both thoughtful (as in both "contemplative" and also "concerned with the well-being of others") and emotional but not feminized exactly, or humorless (not that those two things are synonymous!). Like my brother, like the men that I love wisely.

Things are getting busier in my existence - I'm scrambling to put together my "summer report" for my advisor (reading, reading, reading!) and trying to get as many "back to school" things done as possible (shopping with C, READING, haircut, buying books, going to DanRad's new movie, you know). But! I really want to write some porn. Hum, maybe if I am good and productive I'll earn the right to do so.

( A Smattering of Daily Vocabulecki )

P.S. I had some v. impure daydreams about Sam Winchester today! I like words. My calves are sore from scuttling all over Chicago in the last few days. I have severe, menstrual-related chocolate cravings. I like it when men don't suck (except literally). That's pretty much the state of me.

"The demand for equal rights in every vocation of life is just and fair; but, after all, the most vital right is the right to love and be loved. Indeed, if partial emancipation is to become a complete and true emancipation of woman, it will have to do away with the ridiculous notion that to be loved, to be sweetheart and mother, is synonymous with being slave or subordinate. It will have to do away with the absurd notion of the dualism of the sexes, or that man and woman represent two antagonistic worlds."
-Emma Goldman

ETA: Does anyone have a screencap of Jensen with the ( spoiler (?) for the S2 gag reel )? I NEEDS. Also, Jim Halpert knows the words to Indigo Girls songs. ♥

8:43pm: a woman with a heel like achilles
I just had an incredibly long naptime dream that involved, among other things, an older!Rupert Grint rolling cigarettes in some highly elevated and beautiful natural setting and me totally succumbing (the finger action! the licking! the aaaaaaaargh nicotine!). It was all this hodgepodge of the filming of both a HP movie and Supernatural and I distinctly remember that at some point Jared and Jensen morphed into my boys P and C and then I was all, "Oh whatever, you are hot but you are my FRIENDS. I'm going to go watch the HP filming. Be back later."

Unconscious, you are so OBVIOUS. And yet so weird.

( Words I've looked up today )

I'm reading this late seventies feminist polemical book about the Marquis de Sade. I'm not really sure why, but I am. Of course, she's been talking about Marilyn Monroe for the last ten pages. I have also decided that I am no longer allowed to go LOOKING for Ron/Hermione fic, as that only leads to me losing large chunks of my waking hours--it has to fall in my lap (via oh, those comms I've got friended or the tag alerts on del.icio.us). [Yeah, I'm back there again after those detours into Trio and Ron/Ginny wtf?.]

1:14am: I should post this and go to bed before I feel insane
You know how keepaofthecheez does that "Daily Padalecki" thing? [Except where the HELL has she been lately? I would email her but I think her internet is out. I suppose I could call her...but anyway, never mind.] It was occurring to me that I could do an arguably more boring version (you know, without images or Jared) by sporadically posting words that I look up. Because I look up words most days.

Today's word:

con·com·i·tant (kn-km-tnt)
adj.
Occurring or existing concurrently; attendant.
n.
One that occurs or exists concurrently with another.

I see no real distinction between this word and "concurrently" which essentially means "simultaneously" except with the added implication of convergence and harmony. Hmmm, except for the noun version. That serves a separate function, I guess.

This is not a word I think I will be using in my own life/writing. However, it was in TWO different books I was reading today.

That vampire book I was bitching about the other day for having Buffyverse canon errors proved only to annoy me even more by the end because ( Holy crap, watch me go off on this subject - tl;dr )

We'll see about the word thing. I might forget a lot or just be worried that I'm boring y'all.

2:55pm: I haven't smoked a cigarette in three days, internet, and I am telling you this because I really, really want to right now but I'm not gonna do it. You are my witnesses.

2:52am: Dear Jeffrey Foucault,
( I went to your show tonight...but I didn't tell you any of this. )

10:38pm: Still sick, but feeling loved
Urgh, in between attempting to read cultural theory (which makes me alternately thinky and annoyed!), passing out (a lot of that), and watching Quality Television such as Flight of the Conchords, Mad Men and that show where David Duchovny is really pervy, I um...blow my nose and drink tea?

So yes, feeling antisocial but okay. (I just wish that this show I really, really, really want to go to and already have tickets for wasn't tomorrow.) However! I think you all should know that kittyzams decided that I need an INTERVENTION from the non-stop Rupert perving cheering up and she made a [Jared Padalecki Picspam] for me. My fave parts are the dorky ones and the "O face" ones.

Also, I think I might be quitting smoking (again). And I keep having thoughts about Things, like this book that I'm reading, and who I think I'm going to vote for in the presidential election, and queer theory and why I don't condemn bandom despite being disinterested in it. But I don't feel like posting about them. And that it has to be okay for me, internet addict as I can be, to sometimes have opinions and not necessarily tell the Internet about them in detail - to take a step back. Because I need to get healthy right now, and engage with my real life - even if that just means reading books and watching TV and going to the gym and making food/going out/talking with my friends.

Two other random things: I looked at a bunch of cat macros the other day and most of the time I just ended up thinking, "Man! These cats are so fugly compared to *MY* cat." Haha. I'm vain on his behalf.

I had a dream last night that included many wacky things...such as me desperately editing my dissertation in a stairwell. When I woke up, I was all, "Shit. I wish I remembered what it was about." Oh well!

ETA: a) I think that as a rule I dislike environments in which it is not okay to ask what a word means. Or to say, "I don't know what we're talking about!" I do this in class from time to time and then people tell me that I'm brave.
b) Thank god for Online Dictionaries - I just learned that "sartorial" means: Of or relating to a tailor, tailoring, or tailored clothing. I did not know that!
c) I don't think C will mind if I inform you all that she somehow managed to make it to graduate school without knowing what the word "scatological" means (of or pertaining to poop) and once corrected in a social situation, she face-palmed because she'd totally used it in seminar before. Hee!

12:48am: I am reading [this book] and taking perverse glee in marking in pen Buffyverse canon errors, even small ones. It's kind of like when I went to the sold-out Chicago showing of The Buffy Musical Sing-a-long and was perplexed that I won the Spike Trivia contest out of like 700 people there because I really don't think of myself as the kind of fan who is good with the details. Not compared to many of the rest of y'all. But then this woman tries to tell me that it was the principal instead of the mayor who turned into an enormous snake and misquotes lines of Giles's dialogue.

There are some interesting ideas in the book, particularly in relation to melodrama, but hmmm, we'll see what I think when I get to the end of it. I already suspect that this woman is letting her obviously rabid Spike fangirling unduly influence her text. And I mean, I'm a Spike fangirl! Always have been! But I don't understand how you can talk extensively about the association of the figure of the sympathetic vampire with the Byronic (anti)hero and NOT include any pictures of Angel. WTF? Also, AtS the show gets multiple page numbers indexed but Angel the character none on his own whereas Spike is referenced in 8 (some multiple page) sections. She included pictures of both Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt from Interview With the Vampire, so...humph.

And I kind of wish I was alive when Dark Shadows was on.

*sniffles*

8:19pm: [Hi Fod]
I really am going to figure out how to do all this cross-posting and IJ stuff soon. But in the meantime, I am sick.

Here are some things besides naps and chocolate and Gypsy Cold Care Tea that make me feel somewhat better:

+++[This SPN Vid] by way2busymom. You know how I feel about the episode "Heart" and how it [could have ended differently]? Well, add Duran Duran. :P

This [audio file] that I got via mona1347 called "Nerd Porno." A quote:

"I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind. Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world is a woman who is smarter than you are. You can have the whole cheerleading squad. I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses... First I want to copy her trig homework and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her for hours and hours. Until she reluctantly asks if we can stop - because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica... I'm talking about the girls who used to fuck up the grading curve."

\o/

And finally, of course, ( Pictures of young, English boys being adorable with their suit jackets over jeans )

ETA: How many people besides fodian are using IJ as their primary journal or intend to shift in that direction? I'm still so out of it.

1:48pm: August Fic Round Up and etcetera
So in the mania and delirium that was my weekend I forgot to do this. I wasn't around that much last month but managed to eke out:

+++Bibliophilia - SPN/Buffyverse/HP crossover - Rated R/NC17 - Sam/Hermione with implied Ron/Hermione and background Faith/Dean - Outsider POV on adult!Hermione - About 1300 words.

+++Swimming Too Deep - SPN AU - Rated R/NC17 - Sam/girl!Dean - About 500 words.

+++The 'Wet Hermione' Ficlet - HP - Rated NC17 - Ron/Hermione - I titled this something else but people kept calling it that, so. Wicked short, and porny.

+++'Choices' or 'Five Ways that Hermione Granger Could Have Lost Her Virginity - HP - Rated R to NC17, depending on the vignette - Hermione character study with Hermione/Krum, Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/OMC, Hermione/Harry, and Hermione/Ron - About 5300 words. My favorite thing I've written in awhile. I think I did a bad job of describing/advertising it when I posted it. Oh well. How exactly do you say that it's "Safe for R/Hr shippers but mostly about Hermione?" I guess like that. And it (hopefully) contains a lot of my meta-y thoughts about being interested in individual characters even when you ship, the multiple roads available to us via fanfic, and the possibility of good sexual experiences without romantic love.

*****

Thoughts:

1. I really need to get back on track after my weekend of total crazy and debauchery. My god, but my "To Do" list re: life is kind of out of control. My fandom "To Do" list mostly involves figuring out with my co-panelist what we're going to do for the "Porn Panel" at winchestercon (I'm supposed to represent HET, you guys, heh, but I might need to sneak in stuff about femslash and threesomes and SPN fandom's general cheery willingness to cross boundaries, be they about incest or Original Female Characters or real people or people having wings, what have you). It also involves finishing my SPN S2 rewatch with C once the DVDs come out and then hopefully getting inspired to finish the Sam/Dean-in-Vermont fic before the show starts and it all gets Kripked. Oh, and the Rupert Grint RPF obviously. And my 101 linguistic/narrative/sexual Kinks meme. But I'm going to have to squeeze that stuff in alongside that whole "omg three weeks to finish my summer reading list" situation.

2. Lately it feels like while I was off on extended vacation/traveling/HP land that Supernatural fandom has grown exponentially. Like woah. Makes me feel like shaking my cane and saying, "I remember when." :P I saw that there was some kind of SPN friending meme recently and that it seemed like a lot of people had a good experience. I never do friending memes myself, mostly because I have a hard time keeping up with my flist as it is, but also because I worry that doing one for any one fandom might not work out too well with someone like me who although usually in at least one "primary" fandom at a time tends to branch out into random fits of other obsession and/or posting about whatever other stuff I'm thinking/writing about at the time.

3. I have comments to reply to, I am aware, but I need to run errands first and get some shit done before I get sucked into the Internets again.

6:49pm: Mundanities and more Rupert Grint preoccupation
I slept really late today. This is definitely an improvement on not sleeping at all. Watch how I applaud my own baby steps towards decreased mania!

Then I tidied, had a lovely chat with fodian on the phone, watched some more Vividcon vids and was a good girl and went to the gym. Except they closed early today for the Labor Day holiday so in lieu of cardio-vascular exercise I proceeded to go the corner store and buy a Haagen Daz ice cream bar, which I enjoyed quite happily as I watched some Dr. Who.

Soon, I'm going to read some more Film Theory in order to earn the right to go to Karaoke/Bingo night. And I intend to employ the same carrot/stick method tomorrow w/ regard to earning the right to actually write that Rupert Grint RPF that I was talking about the other day. Because you know that if there is some strange thing with hardly any potential "audience" I will definitely think of it and decided that I have to do it. *g* But! kittyzams in her infinite skill at internet stalking found a [picture] of the girl. Holy god, what teasing I suppose I should expect for writing RPF about Rupert with an OLDER, REDHEADED WOMAN. :P I have to say though that much of why I want to write this now is that I'm irritated by all the comments/press about this woman that are all scarlet-lettery like she's permanently sullied by having gotten hooked on drugs by Pete Doherty. :/ I may also identify strongly with the experience of frequently being referred to as Shiny, Shiny Boy's Girlfriend or Sister. Ahem. Did you hear that people, I think I should write Rupert/girl porn because of my FEMINISM. *g*

Speaking of Rupert making out with older women, the episode of Dr. Who I just watched guest-starred the girl he got it on with in Driving Lessons.

( You Tube clips involving dancing, swearing, smoochies and my favorite Ginger-haired boy )

Ack! C just called and wants me to meet her for beers before Karaoke/Bingo. So, no Film Theory OR Rupert porn production. Ah well! I submitted my conference proposal yesterday after several more edits--never spent so much time writing two paragraphs in my life!--so I feel vaguely entitled.

Tata! Americans enjoy your Labor Day!

ETA: Eep! I heard this rumor that it was tkp's birthday yesterday. Do you know to what level you are one of my FAVORITES, lady friend? Later I will tell you all about it. Hope your birthday was splendid. And I hope that cordelianne and lillianmorgan (also excellent ladies) are having lovely birthdays today!

And if you're wondering why I'm using this Sam/Sarah icon it's because Sam Winchester kissing is hot, duh, and because I still haven't uploaded any Rupert icons where he's not quite young and I have a prude-ish bone in my body that doesn't like to make posts such as this one with icons from when he was still arguably a child. And I didn't even regale you all with my "theories" about his penis (like I did to a hysterically laughing greenapricot the other day). :P

ETA2: What's the deal with High School Musical? Every time I say anything about Rupert Grint to eyesofmyeyes lately, she says, "Yes, but what about ZAC EFRON????"

4:50pm: I seem to be having difficulties taking advice
So. The majority of you seemed most interested in my Brokeback Mountain/Supernatural/Slashiness paper. But! I emailed my Film Theory prof for advice also and he pointed out that there were a lot of papers about BBM there last year and so it would probably be best to pick a different topic. And while he *did* say that he LOVED the paper I wrote for his class--the movie theater one--(can I have a moment of YAY), he thought it might be harder to "package."

So I wrote a proposal for the Fanboy Paper. I might also write one for the Movie Theater paper and send him both to look over, but.

( The one paragraph proposal I've got )

Earlier today I was FINALLY watching some of the new Vivid Con vids. Whee! I think maybe next year I will consider going to VC as a super-duper vidding groupie since it's held in my city and the last two years I've been sitting here thinking, HEY, I LIKE VIDS AND VIDDERS. I mean, lots of people who don't write go to writercon. But I don't know. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'll be lazy and link you to [a recs post] that brandil made earlier today that includes a bunch of vids. I know for a fact that the 300 vid set to Madonna's "Vogue" is deeply kick ass and the multifandom "Filthy Mind" is superfun also.

*psst to tkp and stultiloquentia* In continued Potter-mania, I found this really excellent [Rose/Scorpius] fic last night by sandrine. It's really a great "character study" of Rose and pretty much EXACTLY what I imagined after I read the Deathly Hallows epilogue.

Also, two more (essentially gen) DH codas I haven't recced yet but that are really highly recommended even if you don't read HP fic.

+++Seven Photographs by casirafics - Featuring pretty much Everybody.

+++Summer Holidays by penknife - Hermione-centric.

Those recs really are for if you aren't in HP fandom actually, as it seems like everyone in HP fandom HAS read them, jesus.

Now I need some food. Which means I need to go buy some. Argh. And then there is the question: to write another proposal or to call it quits and finish reading my old advisor's book. Or, alternatively, to go over to eyesofmyeyes's house and get drunk. Maybe all of the above?

I think I might need a really nerdy/studious Hermione icon for situations such as ALWAYS.

ETA: Happy Birthday truelovepooh!!!!! And Nan too! (Even though I already told you on your on LJ.)

7:58pm: Issues that I am Having

1. I am spamming y'all today.

2. I really, really feel like I need to give some serious thought to this whole LJ/SA madness that happened while I was away. I feel some guilt about just coming back and going about my business as if nothing happened. And yet I also take some glee about the part where I really am going about my business regardless in the sense that there has been all this discussion of teenage dryhumping and fic posting of the underage and/or incesty variety here.

3a. I am awash with thoughts of writing Rupert Grint RPF that pairs him with that older rocker girl he was reportedly dating. Of course, I don't even know what she LOOKS like, just that she's a recovering drug addict and seems to be largely famous for having been linked in the past to some other rocker dude who's more famous than she is (in the UK). MARY SUE ALERT!!! (Not that I am a recovering drug addict rock star or anything). But see...he's just so damn calm/stony/genial in all of his interviews and therefore deeply needs to be er, mussed. And like, I have all these, um, really earthy descriptions of blowjobs going on in my head. Fingers in ass a must. And, as per usual, I am developing "theories" about what kind of cock he has--obviously they are not based in anything concrete in any way.[/EMBARRASSED]

3b. I have 48 hours or so in which to write this conference proposal. NOT TO BE WRITING DIRTY PORN ABOUT BOYS WHO WERE UNDERAGE LESS THAN TWO YEARS AGO.

Issues I Imagine You Might Be Having

1. I am spamming y'all today.

2. You are wondering when in the hell I'm going to stop perving on poor Rupes and get back to...whatever it is that it is you friended me for in the first place.

The Bright Side

1. Intermittent Actual work/Deep Thoughts While Washing the Dishes/Spontaneous Porn Eruptions is totally my working mode. It feels kind of...nice, in a familiar way.

2. Perving on Rupert Grint is so infinitely hilarious and enjoyable for me.

3. (For you) There has been some indication that I still like Supernatural recently on this journal. [INSERT MENTION OF BUFFYVERSE.]

***I still think I need to go find a Rupert icon where he's a bit um, OLDER, than he is in this one.

***Many thanks for everyone's input in the poll earlier. I'm pretty sure that I'm going with the "Movie Theater paper" as it is the one that, I realize now, most remotely connects to the overall theme of the conference and is therefore the most likely to be accepted. I am going to try and find other places to do the BBMountain/SPN/Chick Flick/Slashiness one though.

ETA: This post makes me seem so much more "bad" than I am--me, the girl who OTP ships Rory/Dean on Gilmore Girls and writes all that bittersweet (non-incesty) HET in SPN fandom. :P

2:18pm: Insta-Rec
Hi. stephanometra wrote [Sam/Jess Pegging Porn]. Omg.

But! Not only is it very hot, but it also pleases me immensely by working for me both, er, politically while also being totally in character. There's presumed Wincest-in-the-past but it's dealt with in a way that makes more sense to me than almost any other interpretation I've read. Like, he misses Dean. He has issues, but they don't overwhelm the part of the story that is about hotness and how he loves this girl in the here and now. And he's not just trying to be a good boyfriend--he's succeeding to the best of his ability, even if it means he's not telling her the entire truth. Also? The Dean in his head is making lewd comments and egging him on. That is love!

Damn it. I used to have this Sam Winchester icon that was the "Hi, I'm the sexiest thing you have ever seen and I would like very much to take it like a man from a girl like you" icon. WHY ON EARTH WOULD I HAVE TAKEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT DOWN???

eta: Did I fail to mention that this fic is really, really hot? Because OMG HOLY HOT DAMN.

I am now going to a) watch [Jared P.'s SPN screen test] b) have a cup of tea c) wash the dishes and attend to the needs of my small feline companion d) then proceed on to more of the "excessive higher education" aspects of my "Modern Spinsterhood." :P

2:04am: Today's Report
Pages of "homework" read: 70.
Meals Consumed and Films viewed in the presence of my beloved C: one each.
Baked Goods Prepared by Me: Zero. How odd.
Fanfiction read: Zero.

So, yes, I have been (relatively) effectively dealing with my internet addiction. The book I'm reading currently was written by my favorite professor in undergrad and I have thoughts about it, yes, as well as the phenomenon of reading texts written by people of my acquaintance but they will save.

I just realized that I have TWO DAYS to write my application for one of the biggest Film/TV/Media studies conferences. This includes deciding which of my papers to pitch. Fuck. This is my career apparently and I am supposed to take initiative??!?

I wore my "skinny jeans" out tonight, having somehow lost the three pounds or so I gained during my trip over the last week without particularly trying. This just brings me to the conclusion that vacation makes you fat.

The movie C and I watched was "Becoming Jane." I was...okay...eh...whatever. But as C is my ideal movie-watching companion we had a good time anyway.

Exchange between C and I during the course of said film:

Me: (after there was the briefest moment of boytouching--it's not a slashy film) Gnnnnnph!
C: *raised eyebrow/giggle*
Me: You know you've been in Media Fandom for awhile when everything starts to look like Gay Porn. /paraphrasing redbrickrose or one of her friends.
C: I imagine so. And there were also balls being hit.
Me: Also, BREECHES.

C would like to join my "spinster club" but I told her that she is too young. She says that she should be allowed to be a "spinster-in-training" considering that she looks older than me and is carded less frequently.

( Two Images Which Charm Me Currently )

11:44pm: I'm the muffin girl
( autopost doohickie )

Okay, weird. There's my brain on scramble. You can [do it too]. My favorite part: "He’s turned out to be a feminist. Oy." ????????

Today I have read almost half a book of academic prose, made lemon-honey-ginger whole-wheat muffins with apricots and cranberries, and been to the gym. I'm putting all of this in the plus column. I did the math and I have to read approximately one academic book every 2-3 days in order to finish my reading list by the time school starts. This does not include writing reading reports and applying to conferences.

[...]

I suppose this means I have to stop mainlining Harry Potter fic and stalking Rupert Grint on You Tube.

*cracks knuckles*

Speaking of which, You British people sometimes bewilder me:



♥

( And J2 crack me up )

So yeah, if I suck at commenting, it's because I'm frantically trying to LEARN. In theory.

4:41pm: HP Fic: "Choices" or "Five Ways Hermione Granger Could Have Lost Her Virginity" - NC17
Title: “Choices” or “Five Ways Hermione Granger Could Have Lost Her Virginity.”
Author: femmenerd
Characters/Pairings: Hermione POV, Hermione/Krum, Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Original Male Character, Hermione/Harry, Hermione/Ron.
Rating: NC17.
Disclaimer: Not mine, nor for profit, don't sue.
Summary: Spoilers for all seven books. “What? Like girls don’t wonder about these things also?
Author's Note: Many thanks to oxoniensis and pandarus for Brit picking/beta. <3 More notes at the bottom of the page.
Word Count: About 5300.

( Read more... )

2:04pm: Accented English
I'm thinking about language, which isn't entirely surprising, because I'm well me and also because I'm in the process of looking through the Brit pick betas on my Hermione story (which is finished, yes, but I don't know if I'll post it today or not).

( Musings )

6:30pm: My thoughts on...

( bandom )

( what's love got to do with it... )

( Being less of a schlub )

( Getting Hermione Laid )

And now some fic recs, just to wow you with how eclectic I am:

++a cage to catch our dreams by notthequiettype - Jared/Jensen RPS. Adult. My FB: I love this! And I'll have you know that two separate people either tried to explain this fic and/or read it out loud over the phone to me this week. So. Anyway, hilarious and crackling dialogue, blah blah. What I really like best though about this is what's sorta on the quiet slow burn: a) the sense of place, like LA is a character in the story and b) the slow build with the careful single sentences of foreshadowing throughout.So yeah, awesome. P.S. BEARDS HEIDI BEARDS. And weed. And insightfulness.

++Sons Gonna Rise by vinylroad - SPN - Sam/OFC - Adult - This is EXACTLY the kind of Sam/OFC story I was desperately wanting last year when I'd go ransacking del.icio.us for them and come up with nothing but my own stories.

++Coda to an Epilogue by mistful - HP - Gen, I guess, Harry, Draco and the kiddies - A lot of people are saying that this story "fixes" the epilogue to DH. I especially like the first part with Harry and Draco snarking at each other while they're searching for their children who are lost in some dark underground place inhabited by giant alligators. Later parts become increasingly Slytherin-apologist, but it works. I like how it presents an adult future for the characters that's hopeful but not perfect. [Side note: there's like 1O PAGES of FB on that story - I guess I really didn't know what the term "BNF" really meant never having been in HP fandom before. Which I'm still not, natch.]

++Dream a Little Dream by moosesal - RPF/S - Chad Michael Murray and others. The "others" are Sophia Bush, Jensen Ackles and Danneel Harris. It's crack, dudes. Funny and pervy Chad POV of his wacked-out sex dreams.

++Johnny and Mary by minum_calibre - SPN pre-series - John/Mary - "Adult for teenaged fumbling and such." - Seriously awesome. Affecting. Great rhythm to her sentences and I love the way she quietly includes the impact of John's time in Vietnam.

++Scientist, Astronaut and Nymphomaniac: the Nine Lives of John Crichton by Feldman - Farscape - Adult - John/Aeryn - Remember that episode where everybody bodyswitched? Yeah.

Oh and since people keep asking me if I know where there's any Rupert Grint RPS (WHAT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY?): [Here] is where you can find some good Rupert/DanRad and [here] is a PG13 rated Rupes/Emma/Keira Knightly fic where the girls make out and he like brings them snacks. I am so gratified that such a fic exists, for some reason. Probably because I am me!

And finally, I can't imagine that most EVERYONE in SPN fandom hasn't seen this yet but:

++Woman's Work - SPN vid by sockpuppett and sisabet - Not so much gen as a meditation on the sexualization of women's bodies and violence in media in general. So from what I could see the Camera was the main character. They're showing us that it's okay to be critical of the things we love. ( My Feedback )

6:28pm: Britpick? Etcetera
1. Ha! For all of that discussion of dryhumping that I've been doing, I realized afterwards that the fic I posted yesterday was [very wet]. Heh. But y'all aren't that surprised that I'm writing about vaginal fluids now are you? :P

2. I am...committing HP fic again. I know! To the people who have recently friended me, my primary fandom really is Supernatural, I swear! But I'm having a Summer Romance, and like most Summer Romances it has been both unexpected and passionate. *shushes all those who might point out that I hop about fannishly in a slutty, slutty manner* Anyway, I'm going to need a Britpit/beta sometime in the near future. It's a "Five Times" thing with Hermione and it's at about 2000 words now. She's only "done it" with Viktor Krum and Ron Weasley so far and there's still Ginny Weasley, an OMC and Harry left to go, so. Anybody think they might be up for it?

3. I think I'm giving up on actually catching up fannishly on the last month. Too much! Must carry on! I do want to wade through the stuff about LJ/6A though, because it's important and I really have no idea how I'm going to deal with multiple journals, etcetera yet. I also want to watch a bunch of the Vividcon vids also, because I'm a vidding groupie.

4. I fear I'm going to end up watching even more TeeVee next year than I did last season, since I have managed to pick up Weeds, Dexter, The Office, and Dr. Who. And probably some other things as well. Errrrr.

5. God, I need a shower. And I'm convincing myself that once I finish this Hermione Gets Laid fiesta, I'm going to start being productive-ish on other fronts. Or at least grace all of my Chicago friends with my existence. I just...needed a bit of a vacation after my vacation, you know? I should also eat something of some substance. A girl cannot subsist on half an English muffin, some cottage cheese, and green tea alone.

ETA: It's Rupert Grint's nineteenth birthday today! He's so cute - I want to EAT HIM.

Look at him ( Talking about his first screen kiss )

I watched that film and it was actually really, really good! And weird. Kind of like "Harold and Maude" except he doesn't actually do it with the old lady, which is probably just as well because she was played by the woman who plays Mrs. Weasley! Um, yes. Here's a fandom is love story for you: A few weeks ago when I had a few scant hours of internet access at mona1347's house before I went off for an entirely internet-free week at the beach, I frantically emailed keepaofthecheez demanding that if she had it or knew where it was she hook me up. She laughed at me and I was downloading it twenty minutes later. <3333333

He bought an ice cream truck for his first car! And wears hoodies with GOGGLES attached! ♥ Oh dear.

Oh fuck it. I'm going to put some of the more insane HP-related things I found on You Tube at 5 AM with aamichal when I was home.

( Puppets, Non-fanmade Harry/Ron slash vids, and Dudes who perform songs about being in love with Hermione )

11:29pm: Two porny ficlets
"Swimming Too Deep" - SPN - Sam/sister for onelittlesleep - "pre-series" - Rated R/NC17 - About 500 words.

( She liked Maine in the summer. )

"Extra-curricular activities" - HP - Ron/Hermione for um, ME - nebulous time period - NC17 - About 300 words.

( It took a bit of time to figure this out properly, rhythm and such. )

Haha! Those were both very...wet. Sorry to anyone else who had any other suggestions. I ran out of steam. Perhaps another day.

7:29pm: Oh fork it
Hardly anyone is providing any awkward!teen!sex fics. Or first time fics. Or general imperfect sex. Or humph.

So here is a completely random dump from my del.icio.us.

Supernatural
++this heart: it is not yours by flipmontigirl - Dean/OFC - This is just beautiful and kind of breaky, because Anna wrote it. Dean's first time with a milf next door. Outsider POV.

++isis on the fifth day by ggreenapple - Sam/sister. Frottage. Incest. A dykey girl!Dean. Beautiful language.

RPF/S
++Good Boys Don't by winterlive - Jared Padalecki/OFC (high school, framing narrative in the present) - I've recced this a million times, for a reason. It totally captures the breathless, confusing, crazy, sexy that is first time lust. Read it regardless of what fandom you're in.

Um...unfortunately I've read too much Jared/Jensen RPS to be able to wrap my brain around which individual stories might fit. Besides they seem to be largely having "good" sex in porn about them. I'm probably having a brain fart. Bring on the links if you have them.

Friday Night Lights
++"Restraint" and "Verboten" by svillficrecs - Matt/Julie - Hottest fic I've read where they don't get past third base. Includes (guilty!) wanking on the phone.

Smallville
++Inhale by Te - Clark/Chloe - Okay, so it's not THAT awkward, but it's totally teenaged.

++Seule et Amoureuse or "Five Times Lana Lang Got Thoroughly Laid" by mskatej - The first two sections definitely count (Lana/Jason and Lana/Chloe respectively) and the rest of it is just awesome. Oh! And there's girl!frottage so yes, excellent.

Harry Potter
++To Remember Me - by silvernatasha - Ron/Lavender - Set during Deathly Hallows. Warning: This is a really good fic, and it feels v. canon, but part of what makes it so "authentic" is that teenage girls sometimes do things like have sex for the first time with boys they know are in love with someone else. And they sometimes don't ask for what they need.

++Too Far by Resonant - Ron/Hermione - This fic is so short and SO AWESOME. It's like an antidote for all those other fics that are WRONG (ymmv).

++Ordinary Days by penknife - Ron/Hermione first time - Not all that porny. Not all the long. V. good though.

++One Rainy Night by inell - Ron/Hermione - Set during DH but written before. Excellent Ron POV. He's so randy! And yet sweet. Mutual masturbation. Awkward conversation.

++Things They Should Have Taught Us in School by stoney321 - Ron/Hermione - Dryhumping in Grimmauld Place!

++This James/Lily Story by kethlenda that is on erotic_elves and so flocked until further notice and I can't find it elsewhere. Damn.

******De Facto by jaswanson - Ron/Hermione - This one's from the flip side. It's awkward, imperfect old people sex (or well, 60-ish). It's great. Read it.

Um, I'm getting distracted and this recs post is on the verge of veering off into one of two directions: a) stories where a teenage boy is devirginized by an older girl/woman or b) boys tagteam wanking. Here's some of both:

++All the Boys to the Yard by alizarin_nyc - Buffyverse - Faith/Connor.

++Come Inside Now, Okay, and I'll Shake You by me and onelittlesleep - SPN - Sam/OFC. Er, I'd say at least 1/3 of my own SPN porn falls under the weird/awkward/teenage/first time category but I assume if you're reading this journal you're probably already aware of that. I will say that [this] and [this] involve dryhumping.

++Rain Boy by onelittlesleep - Sam and Dean. The Impala. A smut rag.

OKAY. So this is the most random recs post ever! I got overwhelmed because SO MANY of the porny stories I like involve realistic!imperfect!sex that it became difficult to figure out what limitations to employ here.

Now. I still want Harry/Ron friendshippy wank!fic. And I realized that I just haven't read that much fic of this kind in Buffyverse fandom, largely because I mostly read fic involve Spike and/or Angel and they're like old and vampires and stuff so they clearly know what to do. Much love to the person who provides me with awkward!vampire!sex.

ETA: There are some links in the comments! FNL, Dawson's Creek and BSG as of now.

5:22pm: This deserves its own post
stoney321 and I REALLY, REALLY WANT awkward, adolescent-ish frottage fics. Girls with girls, boys with boys, girls with boys, multifandom. Whatever!

Or otherwise undignified firsttime fic, etcetera.

PASS IT ON.

Huh. That's totally what I should write today. Give me pairings and I'll see what I can do.

Um, sorry Fandom. I feel vague guilt about the fact that there are plenty of "serious" things that I should be reading/talking about, but what you get from me when I come back is explodey-ness about dryhumping and dirty-old-woman-ing on Rupert Grint. I find this kind of ironic considering what I *DO* know about the LJ/6A wank that happened while I was gone.

P.S. In case I wasn't being clear, if you know of any good ones, PLEASE PLEASE LINK ME.